After extensive negotiations with the Florida Department of Transportation, the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, and a very angry flock of seagulls, I regret to inform you that our totally legitimate plan to ride on I-295/Dames Point has been denied.
It turns out that:
1. Highway traffic laws still apply to cyclists. Who knew?
2. The wind speeds on the Dames Point Bridge exceed recommended aero bar usage limits.
3. A team of engineers determined that 30+ cyclists attempting a paceline on a six-lane interstate would cause ‘minor disruptions’—such as total traffic collapse.
4. Club insurance manager Brian Benwick stopped returning my calls.
So, unfortunately, I must cancel this ride. I deeply appreciate the enthusiasm of those who already started planning their KOM attempts and drafting their obituaries.
Stay tuned for our much safer rides, which will take place on actual routes meant for bicycles.
Happy April Fools’ Day!